Going above and beyond

If you haven't read my article yet, Stress Management for the Responder Spouse, please check it out...(http://media.responderlife.com/archives/2010/5/29/stress-management-for-the-responder-spouse.html)


Because of the nature of the kind of work First Responders do, it is inevitable that we will achieve a type of fatigue that goes beyond just being physically tired. This means that when we come home there will likely be times that we might be irritable, short tempered or even apathetic about things. It is important for spouses to understand that this is just a byproduct of a caregiving role where the responder is required to fully invest and give every ounce of compassion they have, leaving them dry and worn-out. Knowing that this kind of a reaction is normal at times, it is essential for the spouse of the responder to basically recognize that more grace, patience, kindness, and love is required. The sad thing is, most people are pretty lousy lovers. Love is more of a barter chip than a gift nowadays. Meaning, I will only do something for you if I know that you are going to do something for me. Love in a responder home may not always be that transactional (at least not in the ways our culture has trained us to view it). As a spouse we must embrace that for our responder to have the capacity to go above and beyond for people in crisis, we are going to need to go above and beyond for them, even if we don't always get the immediate payback. This doesn't sit well with our self serving culture. None the less, it will be this conviction that will enable us to thrive in our relationships and bring peace and longevity to our homes.


I Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.


__________________
Clarke T. Cayton
Vice President of Content
Responder Life

I may not be the first responder in the house but I certainly relate to the article above. When I come home from work or school, I can't seem to relax if I know there are dirty clothes and dishes.
I try to do my best to keep up on the housework and I don't mind being the bill-mailer if I know that my dear spouse can rest easy. If I can make life a bit easier on him...he can focus to make life a bit better for someone else.


beharris123

Back when we could do citizen ride alongs, I wanted my wife to come ride with me for one full go around. Actually I begged a little. Just one full week of seeing what I deal with, the hours of sleep I don't get and the situations I face may help her to understand why I look the way I look when I walk through the door. Giving everything you have at work is one thing but OUR work in EMS means a bit higher level of giving. My wife never did any ride along. She never has, in my opinion, looked at what we are in EMS and what we give. Our marriage is better because Jesus is at the center and our commitment to Him and our vows trumps everything else. My life is moving in a different direction now and my wife is at my side. It's always an adventure.



matbergin